because this is what i do while having dinner alone at home, i found several amusing personal ads in this week's the guide.

lottery winner seeks tall, fit, sharp M to help me spend my £10

obsessive and dysfunctional idealist, with impossible expectactions, seeks blissful r/ship with a sense of humour (ed - i like this one)

body of brad pitt, mind of stephen hawkins, 5'8, athletic build, good listener, honest loyal... (ed - i wonder what he looks like)

marshmallow looking for his perfect hot chocolate. woman with microwave preferred.

porsche 924 owner, good-looking, mild-mannered, puppy-eyed, snappy dresser, 5'11, not scared of spiders. (ed - i'm sure he's a psychotic serial killer)

and lastly my favourite from about 200 or so ads,

unkempt gent, 27, seeks elegant scruff bag for idle conversations.

it made me smile and think of all the unkempt gents i know, with their skanky hair and musty clothes and cheeky grins.